Faith, Hope and Love
by fourteen-teacups
Summary: Written, in part, to satisfy my hope that the Turners have friends outside of Nonnatus: Shelagh's strong faith is called upon when she helps a friend from All Saints Church through a family medical crisis; as a result, concerns arise for the Turner family themselves. (A little different than my other stories, think of this as a nod to CtM's 'patient of the episode' format.) mid-s8
1. Chapter 1

Patrick looked up from the book in his lap as he heard Shelagh's footsteps descending the staircase. He had been waiting for the chaos of the evening to quiet before sharing the day's news with her. In response to his outstretched arm, she sat beside him and leaned into his embrace.

"How did bedtime go?"

"It's almost impossible for the girls to stop giggling and settle down," she sighed, but her smile revealed her true feelings on the subject. Watching the bond that had so quickly formed between Angela and May was pure joy.

Patrick smiled, too, but then sobered. "Shelagh, your friend Hannah Clarke brought her son, John, into the surgery today."

"Did she?" she replied, somewhat distractedly, while reaching out to plump one of the scatter cushions.

"Yes, his school vision screening indicated possible myopia, just in the left eye. She was concerned because she herself has an inherited condition that can cause blindness."

"Really?" He had Shelagh's full attention now. "I've heard her mention an issue with her eyes, but she wasn't forthcoming with the details."

Patrick understood, it was a common British trait to keep personal issues to oneself. "It's called Patterson-Ross Syndrome and it's evidently quite rare. I could only find reference to it in one of my newer medical textbooks." He pulled his arm back from their embrace and turned to face her, gesturing with his hands as he elaborated, "The disease affects the retina but can also cause tumors in other organs of the body."

Shelagh's eyes widened, "Hannah definitley didn't mention anything of that! She's only asked for prayer from our group of Bible study ladies once or twice in reference to what we assumed were visits to the optician." Her forehead creased in compassion as she shook her head sadly, "I can see it was actually much more serious."

Leaning forward, he added, "She may be in a stage of denial, and what's more, fearful of knowing too much about it."

"Oh dear," Shelagh whispered.

"The few family members who are known to have it didn't present with symptoms until puberty;" Patrick crossed one arm in front of him and rested his chin in the other hand as he considered the situation. "I think she was hoping that facing it would be a long way off yet."

"Well, yes," Shelagh agreed, as her voice broke slightly, "he's only seven."

"The school test reported his vision in the left eye as 20/60 but in my office he tested closer to 20/100, even with the limitations of the Snellen chart that's not encouraging. I couldn't see as much as I would have liked to with the ophthalmoscope, due to his age he wasn't amenable to the bright light, but there appear to be some retinal abnormalities."

Shelagh sighed and Patrick took her hand in his. "I've referred John to paediatric ophthalmology. He's going to need a more extensive eye exam, but it seems likely he has inherited the disease."

"I suppose you may be right," she said, looking down at their joined hands.

"Shelagh," his voice was quiet and when she glanced up to meet his eyes he continued, "would you call tomorrow to arrange the appointment for them?"

"Of course," she reassured him. "I'll notify her of the date and time and make sure she knows how to get there."

He squeezed her hand, "Thank you."

They sat in silence for a time, the only sound the ticking of the clock above the fireplace. Shelagh leaned against him as they took comfort in one another, each lost in their own thoughts until she spoke once more, "Hannah has a wonderful support system at the church."

"That's good. She may be about to face this for the first time, for herself as well as her son."

"And Patrick," Shelagh added with concern, "she has a little daughter, Angela and May's age. They're all in the same class at nursery."

She felt his sigh as it ruffled her hair, "She'll need to be tested, too."


	2. Chapter 2

The following afternoon, Shelagh walked up their street, pushing Teddy in his pram while Angela and May ran ahead, excited for their playtime with Hannah's daughter, Emily. It had been a happy discovery upon moving into the neighbourhood to find that the Clarke family lived just around the corner and up the next road. The three little girls got on very well together and Teddy was usually happy to play on his own as long as they were within sight.

Shelagh and Hannah were both in the women's Bible study that met at All Saints Church on Wednesday mornings; Shelagh had joined the group last year just after hiring an au pair. Realising how much of her time was spent giving, whether to her family or the community, and in running Patrick's surgery, she recognised the need to both take some time for herself and to refocus on God. He had given her so much and yet she had been letting that part of her life fall to the last place on her list, no longer taking time to sing with the sisters or open her Bible, although she still found quiet moments for prayer. Through their study of Genesis, she discovered fresh understanding and application of God's living and active word to be used within her family life, a world so different from what she was living the last time she had devoted such time and effort to it that it almost surprised her, even though it shouldn't have.

The fellowship with the women at church was a wonderful blessing, and it was refreshing to be just another wife and mother in the group for one morning a week before returning to her role as a public servant, no matter how much joy and purpose she derived from it. Hannah in particular was a welcome new friend. She had been a teacher before she married and enjoyed volunteering at both Emily's nursery and John's primary school to continue using her skills with children. Her husband, Liam, was an engineer with a central London firm whom Patrick had enjoyed talking with the few times they had met. Switching Angela to the closer school after their move had been due to Hannah's professional advice; Shelagh now had an opportunity to return the favor.

As they approached the Clarke home, Angela and May ran up onto the porch. While Shelagh lifted Teddy out of his pram, Angela reached up to ring the doorbell, her action quickly imitated by May.

Hannah opened the door with a smile, but Shelagh could see the strain just behind her pleasant expression. Emily, bouncing with excitement beside her mother, waved to greet her friends who quickly followed her inside.

"I'm sorry about the excessive ringing," Shelagh apologized, "May copies everything she sees Angela do!"

"Of course she does," Hannah soothed, "that's why she's learning and adapting so quickly." Shelagh nodded her appreciation as she and Teddy were welcomed through the door.

Hannah's house was the identical floor plan as the Turners, but in reverse, and as Shelagh crossed the threshold she took in the spotless avocado green appliances before turning right and into the sitting room. The little girls were already engrossed in their pretend kitchen, set up between the fireplace and a brown sofa. A loop of train tracks ran through the side of the room furthest from the patio doors.

"John's trains," Hannah explained wistfully, "he spends ages setting them up so I like to let him leave them out for a few days."

Shelagh shifted Teddy on her hip, turning him away from the trains before he could get any mischievous ideas. Following Hannah back into the kitchen she marveled at her friend's ability to keep a neat home and yet be flexible about keeping toys constantly tidied away, perhaps there was more she could learn here.

The two mothers pulled up chairs at the dinette table, already set with tea and biscuits. On the floor next to it, Teddy was delighted to find a pile of blocks for his amusement. While Hannah poured their tea, Teddy picked up a wooden cube in each hand and happily banged them together. Shelagh stacked a few into a tower which he would eventually enjoy knocking over.

Returning to her seat, she caught Hannah's eye and saw the fear reflected in them. Shelagh took a deep breath and began gently, "Patrick said you brought John into the surgery yesterday."

"Yes," Hannah dropped her gaze to her teacup, but didn't pick it up. "Did he say why?"

"He did," Shelagh explained, "because he asked me to call and make John's appointment with the paediatric ophthalmologist."

Hannah coughed to try and hide her distress, before whispering, "This is me actually facing my greatest fear." Her face crumpled as she turned it away from her friend.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Shelagh's voice was kind.

Hannah put her face in her hands and nodded. Sighing deeply, she looked back towards Shelagh with tears on her cheeks. "My family carries a disease. I don't know much about it really, I don't even like to think about it." She smoothed the table cloth in front of her and added softly, "I know that's foolish."

Shelagh expression conveyed her compassion as she reached out to touch her friend's hand.

"I just know if affects our eyes," Hannah continued. "I have an uncle who is blind. My father's eyes were only minorly affected, but he died when I was just a girl." Her voice started to break, "some think it was because of other complications from the disease." She covered her mouth with her hand to stifle the sobs she was desperately trying to hold back lest she startle the children.

"Oh, Hannah," Shelagh moved to her side to comfort her, "We're making great strides in medicine every day. Don't lose hope." She patted her back while reaching to fetch a handkerchief from her handbag. "My advice is that you want to know exactly what you're dealing with; then let the doctors help you find a plan to manage it." Shelagh sat next to her friend and squeezed her hand, "God will see you through this, Hannah."

"I know he will," she sniffed, and wiped her eyes. "I've been holding onto what God said to Abraham in Genesis 15:1, _'Do not be afraid...I am your shield, your very great reward.' _We've been learning about that, about his protection and provision, haven't we?"

"Yes, we have." Shelagh agreed.

"And I suppose it's no accident what's coming up next in our study with Abraham and Isaac," Hannah's lip trembled. "But I don't want to have to sacrifice my son!" She held the hankie to her eyes and wept quietly.

Shelagh felt as if her heart was breaking right alongside her friend's. "And yet, in the end, Abraham didn't have to. He trusted God with Isaac and God gave him back to him."

"I know he did," Hannah cried, "but I'm still scared."

"Of course you are, you're only human," Shelagh reminded her tenderly. "I also know it's easier for me to say these things than to do them myself. But that's why God gives us friends, Hannah, to remind each other of his goodness and to be a support to one another."

"Thank you," Hannah breathed. "And I know you're not just saying them. I've heard you share during our discussion time; you've seen God work in your life and had your struggles, as well."

"So I have," she acknowledged with a small smile. "Now dry your tears, the girls have noticed we're not sharing the biscuits."

Shelagh took charge of snack time, giving Hannah a chance to compose herself. Emily, Angela and May each clambered onto a chair and after pulling Teddy onto her lap she handed out a fair share of biscuits, then poured the milk.

Amidst giggles, crumbs and a drop or two of spilled milk, Emily announced with enthusiasm, "it's almost my birthday!"

"How exciting!" Shelagh declared, "are you hoping for a special present?"

Emily grinned as Hannah returned to the kitchen, calmer but with the fatigue from her concern still evident. She ran a hand over her daughter's hair and answered for her, "She has been asking for a special playroom under the stairs just like Angela and May's."

"Oh!" Shelagh laughed, as the girls ran back to the sitting room. Once they were far enough away she added quietly, "I can certainly help with that; I have the proper measurements and a curtain pattern."

Hannah smiled her gratitude while she cleared the table. Shelagh wiped Teddy's hands and set him back on the floor, thankful that he had been content for so long. Sliding the empty box nearer, she encouraged him to fill it with blocks; soon, she knew, he would enjoy dumping them out and beginning the task again.

"Do you have news about John's appointment?" Hannah asked tentatively. She pulled her cardigan tightly around her as she took a seat across from Shelagh.

"Yes, I do. You're booked for two o'clock on Tuesday with Dr Harris at King's College Hospital. Once you arrive you're to find the Ophthalmology Day Surgery Centre. Do you know how to get there?"

Hannah nodded.

"Good, but I could arrange to go with you if you're unsure."

"Thank you, Shelagh. Liam thinks he can get the time off to come with us and my mum should be able to mind Emily."

"Well, if she can't, Emily is welcome to play with these three." Shelagh reached across the table, "May I pray with you before we leave?"

"Yes, please," Hannah whispered, grasping her friend's hands as she bowed her head.

Closing her eyes, Shelagh prayed, "Almighty God, we know that John is your child and we have faith that you will guide him and his family through what lies ahead. We ask for you to protect him and provide for him in the way that only you can. Please help Hannah to trust you completely with her son and remind her that _'in all things you work for the good of those who love you_._'_ As she does her part as John's mother, may she be comforted in the knowledge that you will do ever so much more as his Father. Amen."

Both women's eyes were moist as they raised their heads, but as Shelagh gathered the children and prepared to leave, the peace of God remained.


	3. Chapter 3

Shelagh was seated temporarily at Miss Higgins' reception desk. The older woman had stepped out on a compassionate call, something she felt led to do from time to time when she connected especially well with a patient. Both Patrick and Shelagh appreciated the commitment Miss Higgins brought to her position and her community spirit aligned with their mission for the Kenilworth Row practice. Holding the telephone receiver to her ear, Shelagh subconsciously counted the ringing tones while waiting for a medical secretary to pick up at Moorfields Eye Hospital. She frowned slightly as her mind drifted back to the events of last night.

* * *

"Sing the toothbrush song, Mummy!" Angela squealed as Shelagh ushered the two little girls into the bathroom for teeth cleaning.

"Toothbrush song!" May parroted.

With a smile, Shelagh agreed to sing once the actual brushing started.

"_I'm a pink toothbrush, you're a blue toothbrush…"_

She was interrupted by Tim's appearance at the bathroom door. "Mum, Mrs Clarke is on the line for you; she sounds upset."

Shelagh's heart sank with apprehension, "Oh, no! I'm afraid she may have received some disappointing news today." Her expression was conflicted as she looked toward Angela and May.

Tim gestured for her to leave, "I'll finish up with them, Mum."

She touched his arm in gratitude as she passed out of the room and hurried downstairs to the telephone, "Hannah?"

There was a pause and she could hear sniffling coming through the line before Hannah finally spoke, "They say he has it for sure, Patterson-Ross syndrome. They could see a lesion on his retina." The panic in her voice was evident as she stumbled over the words. "I know Dr Turner tried to prepare me; but I still held out hope…" the final few words were hard to make out, muddled as they were by her sorrow.

"I know," Shelagh began softly, "I am so sorry, Hannah. Did they say anything else?"

"They aren't familiar with it...weren't confident in treating it," Hannah rambled, clearly in a state of shock. "They say there's an expert, a Dr Lewis, at Moorfields' Children's Eye Centre...and something about blood tests," she ended with a whimpering sigh.

"Hannah," Shelagh replied, gently but firmly, "As soon as they deliver John's notes to the surgery, we will take care of the appointment for you." She could hear Hannah's murmured agreement. "And the blood test was likely for genetics purposes, but that can certainly be put to one side for now."

The line was silent except for Hannah's quiet sobs.

Shelagh didn't want to be presumptuous, but the words she needed to say held the conviction of her own experience. Furthermore, she knew her friend understood them in her heart, even if she was struggling to remember them in the midst of her grief. Summoning her courage, she stated her truth, "You can place John confidently in God's hands, Hannah."

After a gasping breath, Hannah answered, "I know...I _must _trust him with this. In all honesty, I have no other choice..." her whispered distress was heart wrenching, "I've never felt so helpless."

If only she could reach through the telephone and hug her, Shelagh thought. Instead she offered what she could in spiritual comfort, "Let me pray for you and John. Heavenly Father, we lift John up to you and ask that you would heal him whether through a miracle or through medical science. We pray for wisdom and expertise for the doctors who will decide on his treatment. Please give Hannah and Liam strength and hope as they walk through this difficult time. Remind them that _'your grace is sufficient for them, for your power is made perfect in weakness.' _And comfort John with your peace throughout every appointment and procedure. Amen."

* * *

"Moorfields Eye Hospital, Children's Centre." The voice on the other end of the line brought Shelagh abruptly out of her thoughts. Several minutes later she replaced the receiver as calmly as she could, although her look of displeasure may not have escaped the patients in reception.

Marching purposely into Patrick's office, she spat out her distress, "I am not at all satisfied with the appointment system at Moorfields!"

Patrick glanced up with concern, abandoning the file he was updating. "What's happened?"

"John Clarke has been booked in with Dr White for next Thursday, even though his notes clearly recommend Dr Lewis!" Clenched fists and a huff accompanied her outburst.

Patrick's brow furrowed, "And why is that?"

Continuing on her tear, Shelagh bristled, "Nevermind that Dr Lewis is considered to be an expert on rare eye conditions, apparently all new patients must go through Dr White!"

"We do have to work within the system," Patrick began gingerly, "you and I both know that…"

Holding up her hand, she opened her mouth to reply, then closed it. What he said was true, she realised, and she did know that, perhaps better than anyone. She would have to trust the system to work for her friend.

Inhaling sharply she then released her anger in a slow breath. "Indeed. Thank you for reminding me. But Patrick, I'm so grateful for our smaller system here, where we can at times make a little room for humanity."

Patrick smiled at the heartbreaking compassion written on her face and held out his hand to her. When she took it, he brushed his thumb gently over the back of it. "They are booked in at the Children's Eye Centre, that's the important thing."

She squeezed his hand in return, and replied softly, "I know. I'll notify Hannah about his appointment and help her understand."

* * *

The following Wednesday, Shelagh breezed out of the maternity ward and into reception on her way to the kitchenette. Miss Higgins caught her eye as she passed and gestured for her to wait. "You'll want to hear this Mrs Turner!" she called out, setting the handset in its cradle, her eyes twinkling as she did so. "That was the medical secretary from Moorfields' Children's…"

"Regarding John's appointment?" Shelagh wondered.

"Yes, as a matter of fact. It seems that Dr White has fallen ill with influenza," Miss Higgins' smile was mischievous, "and apparently he _never _misses work!" She raised her eyebrows innocently, "They wonder if Master Clarke would mind too terribly if he were to see Dr Lewis instead at tomorrow's appointment?"

Shelagh gasped and clapped her hands in front of her mouth, "Praise the Lord!" she breathed, eyes threatening to overflow with thankful tears.

Both women shared in the moment of joy before Miss Higgins' discretely passed Shelagh a handkerchief and shooed her off to the kitchenette.

Once on her own, Shelagh removed her glasses to dab at her eyes and marveled at God's providential care. Laughing quietly, she gently berated herself for thinking she must trust in the system, when no system compared to the power and majesty of God. Quickly composing herself, she hurried off in the direction of Patrick's office to telephone Hannah with the news.


	4. Chapter 4

Hannah glanced around the waiting area at the Children's Eye Centre, Liam and John engrossed in a comic book next to her. She watched the other young patients, some noisy and distressed, others keeping themselves occupied with crayons or small toys. It was an awfully long wait for such little ones, she thought, and reached into her handbag for a packet of biscuits to pass to her boys. Her fingers brushed against a small handwritten card nestled beside the treat and she pulled it out as well, keeping it closed in her hand for the time being.

Her stomach clenched at the sight of other children around them wearing eye patches or whose coloring was poor. Immediately she felt guilty, but they brought up all her fears for John's treatment. What would the doctor recommend? Would it be painful for John? He already wasn't fond of the eye drops and bright lights, what if injections were necessary or surgery? She didn't even understand how such a surgery could be done, but she was certain it wasn't something she wished for her son to have to endure. Taking a deep breath, she willed her tears not to fall. Goodness, she felt like crying all the time these days. Once when she was home all alone she simply fell on the bed and sobbed into her pillow, she had no words, not even to pray.

Opening her hand she glanced down at what it held, a small calling card with a verse handwritten on it: _Isaiah 40:11 He tends his flock like a shepherd...he gently leads those that have young. _She smiled at the sweet encouragement from Shelagh and briefly closed her eyes, focusing on God's love and care for her family. Even this appointment with Dr Lewis was a reminder that he was at work in their current circumstances. Yes, it was a small thing, not yet a complete solution, but the hope that it gave her was immeasurable; what he began he would finish, she believed that with all her heart.

She looked up just as a nurse arrived to address the group in reception, "John Clarke? The doctor will see you now." As the little family stood and followed her, Hannah silently offered prayers for healing on behalf of the other precious children needing care.

To start the appointment, John's vision was tested and eye drops were administered, then Dr Lewis joined them. He was an older man in his sixties, tall and solidly built, with thinning gray hair cropped close to his head. His manner was friendly and he moved about the small examination room with the energy of someone much younger.

"I've just been on the telephone with a colleague from Harvard," he announced confidently. "They have been treating these types of retinal tumors with radiotherapy, although there are some new clinical trials over in the States using a type of laser surgery if you can believe it."

Hannah and Liam glanced at each other, unsure of how to respond.

"But let's take a look at John here," the doctor continued kindly, turning his attention to his patient, "and we'll see what we're up against."

Turning to the small boy, Dr Lewis gently explained the examination he was about to perform and checked to see that John's pupils had sufficiently dilated. The lights were dimmed for the evaluation and Liam reached for Hannah's hand as they watched their son. In such a short time he had already improved as a patient with less fussing and obediently following instructions. The doctor asked him to look up as far as he could, then left and right and down, as he peered at different parts of the back of his eyes. With one of his little hands, John subconsciously gestured in the same direction he was trying so hard to look, all the while bravely withstanding the bright light directed at his eye.

Sitting back, Dr Lewis flicked the lights on. "Right then. John's tumor is in such a location that it is blocking his central vision. It's a small lesion, but the eye is a small organ and it doesn't take much to obscure things. That's why his vision is so poor in the one eye, he's only able to see around the outside of the tumor." He sketched a diagram of the back of the eye as he spoke, pointing out the location of the lesion as well as the effect it was having on John's eyesight.

"This type of tumor is extremely tiny and because it is vascular we can't remove it without causing other complications. But we do need to stop its growth," Dr Lewis elaborated. "I think the best course of action is radiation therapy which will effectively kill the tumor, but leave the rest of the eye intact. We want to preserve as much vision as possible. The good news is that our eyes work together as a team and John's team is still giving him 20/20 vision; his other eye is perfectly healthy."

Both parents exhaled a tentative sigh of relief before Liam asked, "What is our next step?"

"Based on John's file and my conversation with Harvard, I anticipated the radiotherapy option and put in a call to a good friend on the paediatric RT ward at the London. I asked that he meet you here to discuss John's treatment. He should be here shortly to explain everything and answer any questions you may have."

"Thank you, Dr Lewis," Hannah replied. Her concern had not fully subsided, but the doctor's confidence and competency were certainly reassuring.

"It's been my pleasure. I'll want to see John for a follow up after the radiotherapy is complete. In the meantime," he gestured to a presence in the doorway, "I leave you in the capable hands of Dr Thomas." After shaking hands first with John and then his parents, Dr Lewis took his leave.

Introductions were made and Dr Thomas pulled up two chairs adjacent to the Clarkes, one for himself and one for John. He was younger than Dr Lewis and more soft spoken but his expertise was clear, even as he put his explanation into words they could easily understand.

"Radiotherapy is using a focused beam of radiation and directing it at a tumor in order to stop it from growing." He looked at John, "It's the same radiation that's used in an x-ray of your teeth or a broken bone. In that way it's like taking a picture. Your radiotherapy will be similar to having your picture taken. You will lie very still on an examination table and something like a camera on a big arm will take several pictures of your eye. It will make a noise each time it takes a picture but it won't touch you."

John looked at his parents and then back at the doctor. "Okay," he said softly.

"We will use a low dose because it's not a very big tumor," the doctor continued. "But you will need to come every day for twelve days in addition to the initial scan where we take the measurements and calibrate the angles for the machine. Each treatment will last a little over an hour and due to the low dose we'll be using there shouldn't be any side effects."

Hannah and Liam nodded along as they absorbed the information.

"After the twelve sessions there will be a waiting period; the effects of the treatment continue to work for an interval of time after the RT ends. At that point you will see Dr Lewis again. Our goal is to completely stop its growth, and we hope it will shrink, but it won't go away completely."

"His vision won't be fully restored then," Liam stated, as he and Hannah shared a brief look of disappointment.

"Full restoration is unlikely," Dr Thomas gently confirmed, "but he may regain a portion of it if the tumor reduces in size. As to the radiotherapy, John, what do you think?"

John sat up very straight. "I can do it," he asserted.

Dr Thomas patted him on the shoulder, "Good man."

* * *

After Hannah and Liam agreed to the proposed treatment for John and were informed about how the procedure would be scheduled, they left the examination room in a state of stunned relief. Hugging each other, as well as their son, they took a moment to make sure John understood everything that had, and was going to, happen. Then they sought out the hospital tearoom for a well deserved treat. Several pastries later, Hannah left Liam and John at their small table and rushed outside to find a phone box. Her first call was to her mother, then she checked her watch and determined that Shelagh was likely at home, starting dinner preparations. As she expected, Shelagh answered with the sound of exuberance in the background.

"Hannah!" Shelagh exclaimed. "Oh, could you hold the line please…" her voice was muffled as she spoke to her children, "Girls, take Teddy and your game outside, thank you." Then more clearly, "I'm sorry about that; how was John's appointment, what did Dr Lewis say?"

"Oh, Shelagh, God is so good!" Hannah declared.

"It sounds as though your news is hopeful," Shelagh responded to the optimism in her friend's tone.

"It is, thank the Lord!" Hannah first explained the radiotherapy plan, then continued exuberantly, "and that's it! No needles, no pain, no surgery or lengthy recovery...it's such a gentle treatment, Shelagh, this is more than my mother's heart could have dared to hope for!"

"Oh, how wonderful! And an answer to so many prayers," Shelagh added.

"It truly is. I'm just overwhelmed right now at how much God loves John, even more than I do!" She paused, rummaging around in her handbag for a hankie, "I'm sorry, I'm crying again…" she sniffled and laughed at the same time, "but this time they're happy tears!"

"I don't blame you, I'm welling up myself!" Shelagh admitted.

"I know it's not over yet,' Hannah went on, "but I can see God is carrying us through this and there is so much peace in that!"

"Yes, there is," Shelagh agreed with a tender sigh.

"Oh dear, I must get back to the boys, they'll wonder what's happened to me! May I phone you tomorrow? After I speak with the scheduler?"

"Please do, and know that I'm continuing to pray for you and John."

"Thank you, Shelagh, for everything." Hannah replaced the receiver then took a moment to close her eyes and smile in the comfort of the loving presence of her God.


	5. Chapter 5

Several weeks passed and Hannah rang Shelagh regularly with news of how John's treatment was progressing. Tonight the call came a bit later than usual and by the time Shelagh finished up in the kitchen and made her way upstairs, Patrick was ready for bed, propped up on his pillows and leafing through the _BMJ_.

"Have you found anything interesting?" Shelagh asked, stopping at the end of the bed and placing her hands over the lump in the blanket that were his feet.

"A few articles look promising. Come to bed and we'll read them together," he grinned mischievously while wiggling his toes under her hand.

"It's awfully late," she demurred, "and I had hoped we could talk a bit…"

Taking note of her concerned expression, he stopped his teasing, "Of course, my love."

Not missing his air of disappointment she squeezed his foot through the blanket, "We could make a date to read them tomorrow night?"

His reply was immediate, accompanied by a wink, "Absolutely!"

Enjoying the hopeful look on his face, she gave him a little smirk before disappearing into the bathroom to complete her nightly routine, first stopping to hang Patrick's towel correctly so it would dry properly by the time he needed to use it tomorrow.

When she returned to the bedroom, he had set the journal aside and propped up her pillow next to his. She set her glasses on the bedside table before she slid into bed, laying her head on his shoulder. He drew his arm around her as she rested one hand on his chest and released a deep sigh.

"What is it that's troubling you?" He smoothed his other hand over and through her hair. "Is it something to do with Hannah's call?"

"Yes and no," she hedged. "John's treatment has gone well. He did have some difficulty tolerating the radiotherapy early on and they used anesthesia for the first few sessions, but after that he didn't need it."

"I'm glad to hear that."

"Now he has just two treatments left. They won't see Dr Lewis for at least another month, but in the meantime they've been referred to genetics at the London. Dr Walker will be able to educate them on the disease and see that they get the necessary blood test for Emily."

"Everything sounds well then," he held her tighter and whispered into her hair, "what else has you unsettled?"

Shelagh waited a moment. Foolishly worrying over this herself was one thing, but speaking things aloud sometimes made them more real. Nevertheless, this was a reality they needed to face together. She summoned her courage. "All this with John has made me concerned for Angela. We don't know anything at all about her genetic history, nor will May's adoptive family know anything about hers. What if there is something we're not aware of that we should be looking for?"

Patrick blew out a breath. "Let's start with Angela. We'll continue to be diligent with her preventative care and fortunately we have a medical lens with which to view any complaints that are out of the ordinary. She was lucky to be placed within our family, Shelagh."

Tapping his chest with her fingers, she lightly scolded, "I wouldn't call it luck, Patrick."

"Very well," he conceded, resting his chin on top of her head. "As for May, we'll have to hope her adoptive parents will be just as conscientious. But even when genetic history is known we're both aware that it can't account for every abnormality."

They lay in silence for several minutes before Shelagh continued. "Hannah has been so faithful throughout this trial. It reminds me of my own journeys in the wilderness. I was faithful, too; but it's human nature to think we have to control everything ourselves. Once again, I must learn to surrender this burden to the Lord."

"That's not my inclination, as you know, but then again you and I have seen things in medicine we just can't explain. Add to that our own history," he hugged her closer, "and I suppose I can't completely discount there might be some divine intervention taking place. In any case," he kissed her hair and added softly, "I know I'd never ask you to stop praying for us."

"I never could," she breathed, nuzzling further into his chest, "But you're correct, too, Patrick. God expects us to do our part, as Angela's parents and with the skills and knowledge he's given us, we must do everything we are able to within our power, then we leave the rest in his hands and trust him, even with our children."

Again they were quiet, each lost in their own reflections. Shelagh thought of how well they complemented each other: Patrick, the more practical one, while she leant on her faith. Yet they weren't polar opposites by any means, she also put a fair amount of trust in medical science. And Patrick, well, she would never have fallen in love with him had she not glimpsed in his dedicated service to others a representation of divine love. She saw the delicate balance between faith and reason as a continuum and they understood and respected the place where each of them fell along that line. Wherever they diverged or overlapped, it contributed to their strength as a couple.

As if reading her thoughts, Patrick asked, "How are Liam and Hannah coping through all of this?"

"It's a lot to take in," she sighed, "but they've been so strong for each other...and for John."

"That's good."

"Patrick," she said, brightening a bit, "I'd like to have them over for dinner when things settle down, after John's treatment ends. It might help them to have something rather ordinary to look forward to, and the three girls get on so well."

"Alright. If you're sure it won't be too much for you."

"Just something simple," she promised, "in the back garden if the weather is nice. You know, Emily has been asking for a playroom under the stairs like ours! That reminds me, I still need to unearth the curtain pattern I told Hannah she could borrow."

Patrick chuckled and ran his hand lightly up and down her arm. "You sound as though you're feeling better."

"I am," she smiled against his chest, "thank you for helping me put my fears to rest."

"Always happy to oblige," he grinned, giving her one last squeeze. "Lights out?"

She nodded and they snuggled down into their bed, preparing for sleep. "I'm sorry about the _BMJ _articles," she whispered, reaching out to touch his cheek.

"No apologies necessary," he assured her, then pulled her to him and added cheekily, "but don't be thinking I'll let you forget about the date you made with me for tomorrow."

With a giggle, she kissed him quickly, "I should hope you wouldn't!"


	6. Chapter 6

Shelagh scheduled the dinner party with the Clarkes a week after John's treatment was over. Patrick helped her lengthen the table, as they had for Angela's birthday party, in order to fit all ten of them for the meal. Once it had been eaten and cleared away, the two families lingered in the Turner's back garden, enjoying the early evening. Timothy had agreed to stay for as long as was polite before joining his mates at the youth event the community centre was hosting this week. But before he left, he spent some time with John, lending him a few of his comics and digging out the old train set he had somehow saved from the clear out his mum had insisted upon for the All Saints jumble sale. In between the fun, Tim told him a bit about his own hospital experience and John, who looked up to the older boy, was both amazed and comforted to learn that they had such an unusual thing in common.

The two couples sat at the patio table while the little girls ran in and out, serving the adults the play food they were cooking either on the sofa table or under the stairs. Teddy was in his element, enjoying all of the activity. He took turns between following the girls, kicking about a small football with the two dads, and inspecting the train set John was building.

Hannah laughed and leaned toward Shelagh, "I think he's going to sleep soundly tonight!"

"Quite," she grinned, "he loves to be in the middle of all the fuss. Now, you haven't yet told me about your appointment with Dr Walker. It was this week, wasn't it?"

"It was," Hannah confirmed. "He arranged for the three of us to give blood samples. Apparently there are several types of Patterson-Ross Syndrome and it will be helpful to know which one we've inherited." She paused for a moment, "and Emily's will tell us if I have passed it on to her as well."

Shelagh sensed the tension in her friend, "You don't feel guilty, do you?"

"Not really," Hannah sighed. "Well, maybe a little; but I wouldn't trade my children for anything…"

"No," Shelagh understood.

Hannah straightened her posture, "In any case, Dr Walker is very knowledgeable. He's given us a schedule for annual screenings in each of the areas the disease can affect our bodies. If any abnormalities are found they should be small and easier to take care, not like John's." She gave Shelagh a small, sad smile, but continued speaking with confidence "You were right, knowing what we must deal with gives us the power to fight it; I've already learned so much."

"You've been so brave, Hannah, and so faithful."

"It was hard at first, but then it became easy in a way...when I knew there was nothing on earth that I could do to fix this. I had to completely let John go and give him to God. And God protected him and provided for him every step along the way, then gave him back to me." She glanced over at her son with all of the love in her heart written on her face. "And I'll never be the same. I can trust him with everything now. I never could trust him with the people I loved, I was afraid to. Now I know I can."

Shelagh reached for her hand and squeezed it. "I've been so blessed and encouraged by how strong you've been through this, and by having the privilege to pray for you and to watch those prayers be answered. It's strengthened my faith, too."

They smiled at each other before looking away and discretely wiping their eyes.

Patrick caught Shelagh's attention as he rolled the football once again towards Teddy. "I think the girls are ready for pudding." he suggested.

"Oh, yes," Shelagh answered, looking back into the house and noticing the girls were happily occupied under the stairs. "Something tells me it isn't the girls who are tired of waiting for pudding," she whispered to Hannah, as they moved into the kitchen to serve the treacle sponge. Shelagh put the kettle on, then spooned the sticky cake onto small plates. Hannah placed each serving on the dinette table and set out nine spoons next to a pitcher of cream and the tin of golden syrup.

"Did I tell you that Dr Lewis has prescribed glasses for John?" Hannah asked Shelagh as they waited for the kettle to boil.

"No, you didn't. As a form of protection, I assume?" Shelagh wiped crumbs off of the counter and set the packet of tea next to the empty teapot.

"Yes, they want to prevent his good eye from accidental injury. With it, he still sees 20/20 overall. What a wise idea it was for God to give us two eyes, I never thought I'd be so grateful for having a spare!"

"You're absolutely right!" Shelagh laughed, turning to the stove as the kettle whistled.

"He will struggle with depth perception," Hannah elaborated while arranging the cups and saucers on the counter, "unless the tumor shrinks enough to give him back some of the vision in his left eye."

"We'll keep praying for that," Shelagh promised as she brought the teapot over.

"Thank you, I know he hears our prayers." Hannah smiled, "and I've truly felt the peace of God's presence throughout all of this…"

Liam finished his wife's thought, as the men entered the kitchen. "We've also been blessed by seeing him minister to us through others…the Bible study ladies' help with minding Emily lessened the strain on Hannah's mum and the neighbourhood meal schedule you organised was much appreciated."

Shelagh blushed while Patrick gently stated, "We've been on the receiving end of the same sort of hospitality ourselves. Shelagh was more than happy to pass along the favor."

The slight awkwardness that had formed was broken by five children swarming the table for their promised treat. Patrick and Liam took the boys outside to minimize the mess, while Hannah and Shelagh supervised the girls at the kitchen table.

While they ate, Hannah reiterated her thanks, "Shelagh, I'm so grateful for you. It was such a help to have a confidant with whom I could share everything. Some people don't want to get personally involved or just don't understand, but you have been a true blessing and a real friend."

Shooing away her compliment, Shelagh answered, "I know you would do the same for me. After all, God comforts us in our troubles and calls us to help others in turn, with the same comfort he has given us." The two friends nodded their mutual understanding as they began to clear away the dishes.

"And as I said earlier," Shelagh went on, "you've helped me, too. It's silly, but I'm learning to be less militant about the toys," she gestured toward the sitting room, "it's proving to make things a wee bit more relaxed around here…" The slightly uncomfortable look on her face made Hannah laugh, knowing her friend wasn't a very relaxed sort of person. "I meant that in a good way!" Shelagh grinned. "Although I do fear it may reopen the can of worms that is Patrick's tendency toward hoarding," she shuddered.

The two women giggled as they completed the washing up. The trains and football were brought in from the garden as the little dinner party drew to a close. The Clarkes thanked the Turners generously and took their leave after a heartfelt promise to return the invitation just as soon as things were on a more even keel.

"Angela and May, please tidy up the play dishes from the sitting room, although you may leave your dollies out," Shelagh instructed. "When everything else is back under the stairs, go up and get ready for bed; I'll be along shortly to help you with your teeth."

Patrick held Teddy, who drove a small, wooden train up and down his father's arm, and watched Shelagh as she locked all of the doors and left a light on for Timothy. "Leaving the dolls out overnight," he teased, "I think I like this 'new' Shelagh; I wonder if she has any surprises for me?"

"Patrick!" she exclaimed with a look of exasperation, indicating the girls who were still downstairs with them. "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about," although the way her eyes twinkled, it was clear that she did. Waving the girls up to bed, she gave him an impish grin before climbing the stairs herself.

As he followed her up, Patrick pulled a goofy face at Teddy, causing him to erupt into giggles. "Now that you're here," he whispered to his young son, "and with Mummy's new perspective on tidiness, perhaps Tim and I can keep a few more treasured items like these trains!"

"I heard that, Patrick!"


	7. Chapter 7

The next Sunday dawned cool and clear, with bright sunshine promising a warm afternoon. The Turner and Clarke families were exceptionally turned out, predictably ensconced in their usual pews at the All Saints family service. Shelagh's voice rose and, next to her, Patrick's anchored one of her favorite hymns:

_ Great is Thy faithfulness_

_ Oh God my Father _

_ There is no shadow of turning with Thee_

_ Thou changest not _

_ Thy compassions they fail not_

_ As Thou hast been_

_ Thou forever will be_

The truth of the words touched her anew and she felt her spirit soar. Earlier, Hannah had rushed up to her on the church steps with the news that Emily's test results revealed she had not inherited their genetic disease. Shelagh hugged her tightly, sharing in her friend's joy and God's providence.

_ Pardon for sin_

_ And a peace that endureth_

_ Thine own dear presence to cheer _

_ And to guide_

_ Strength for today_

_ And bright hope for tomorrow_

_ Blessings all mine, with ten thousand beside_

Now the words of the old hymn reinforced the foundation of her faith as she confidently trusted God to guide them through the path of Angela's unknown health history as well as a new concern that had recently surfaced: how their family, and May herself, would cope with having to separate in several months time.

_ Summer and winter_

_ And springtime and harvest_

_ Sun, moon and stars _

_ In their courses above_

_ Join with all nature _

_ In manifold witness_

_ To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love_

As Hannah glanced back and smiled, Shelagh thought of her own personal knowledge of the Lord's faithfulness, in their past trials and triumphs and the ones yet to come. She reached out to gently hug Angela and May to her side just as she saw Hannah place a hand on the head of each of her own beloved children. Leaning into Patrick, and Teddy who was in his arms, she caught Tim's eye where he sat at the piano, waiting for the organist to finish. As the morning light streamed through the stained glass window above the altar, Shelagh closed her eyes and thanked God for his steadfast love and care as she sang the hymn's final words of praise:

_ Great is Thy faithfulness_

_ Great is Thy faithfulness_

_ Morning by morning new mercies I see_

_ All I have needed Thy hand hath provided_

_ Great is Thy faithfulness_

_ Lord unto me_


End file.
